Napkins Please and Fuck Twitter

So I got a bagel from TH because I can’t help myself it’s just down the street. Almost every time I get one though I’m presented with a bagel dripping with butter and no napkins at all. And when I ask for a napkin the employee always reacts like I’m some sort of idiot.  I go onto trusty twitter to log into my @fucktimhortons account only to find out that twitter has banned my account. So fuck twitter for cherry picking its user generated content.

I’m assuming having fuck in my account name isn’t allowed, despite the countless hashtags that match,

Why are my panties all in a bunch over Tim Hortons?

asdfasdfasdfaHow about the fact that their employees and management are idiots. OK, I’m being a little harsh here, I have no data to prove that they are idiots, but this is about how I feel, not about how good I am at researching my points.

Today, I order a soup/sandwhich combo, it got punched in as individual items so no combo discount, thus over charged. I get my food, only to find out there are no napkins and no spoon. So here I am drinking my mediocre soup like an idiot.

For me it appears to be a coin toss between this type of awful service and getting the proper basic service. It’s fun ordering a tea and getting a black coffee. I love that! It’s fun ordering a bagel with cream cheese yet there appears to be little bits of cheddar cheese in it because they used the same knife to cut bagels as cut sandwiches.

It’s really awesome when their hot chocolate robot is in a bad mood and spits our a brown liquid that looks like chocolate but just tastes like hot water. Love spending my money on that.

I can’t possibly comprehend how it isn’t the case that every employee knows hands down if someone orders a soup, sandwich and a drink (In my case I literally said, “can I have THE soup and sandwich COMBO) that it gets entered in with the combo discount. This is how EVERY fast food chain on the fucking planet works. I can’t understand how it isn’t routine, default, guaran-fucken-teed in the plans to throw a napkin and a spoon in with soup.  Are the employees like, “Hey 80% of the time is a passing grade like in school right?”

I think whether or not the coffee is good is subject to opinion, I drink small black coffee on occasion and I can’t say any black coffee is delicious. However their food is just terrible. Their breakfast sandwich on an english muffin is soggy as fuck. Recently they came out with breakfast panninis and I’m like, “Awesome, it’s grilled on the outside so it can’t be soggy!”. I order it, soggy as fuck. All of their food is pretty terrible which is hilarious because they’re trying to compete with mcdonalds on the breakfast food category and fail miserably, but McDonalds tried to compete with Tim Horton’s on the Coffee front and to me won, their coffee tastes pretty good.

Man I hate Tim Hortons. So much so that was hit with the last straw, went off the rails, said fuck it I’m going for big air, dropped $15 on a dot com and spent a couple hours adding this content.  I know, I know, I just shouldn’t go, but they’re everywhere and sometimes you just gotta get something in you. I risk that coin toss and hope for heads.. or tails.. whichever is not terrible. I swear if Tim Hortons wasn’t spread around like a plague, they would go out of business. They’re just everywhere.

Lastly the whole, “hey we’re canadian and so are you, so we’re proud to be canadian eh”. Makes me sick when you think about the quality of their products. If shitty products equals Canadian pride then we as canadians are idiots.

Using Social Media to Express Discontent

To prove that I’m not just a crazy guy that’s running amuck and trying to hurt the Tim Hortons brand, I will show you that I have publicized my complaints to Tim Hortons on Twitter AND received feed back from Tim Hortons PR.

I think Twitter is great for a few reasons. One is by bypassing the middle men to ensure people who care at the company know that an individual branch is screwing up.

In the old days, if you had a complaint you would tell the manager, but probably the manager is lazy/mildly corrupt. They don’t care. Their motto is “Fuck you, pay me”. So what do you do when you feel the manager hasn’t empathized with your concern? You then have to go to the district manager, who manages all the stores in your local area. This can also be a nightmare, and honestly far too many hoops to jump through for a customer.

Enter Twitter, with little effort you can just express your discontent on their twitter page, and because it’s public, you can be sure they’ll take it a least a bit serious. Facebook is a valid avenue as shown below. But a little too much effort if you ask me.

Twitter                                                                            Facebook

Now this is a good thing, this is what I want, this is progress! What they ultimately do with this information I don’t know, but at least someone who cares about their brand’s strength is taking notice when their customers say something is hurting their brand.

So, maybe to a degree I am a crazy fuck. I’m “that guy” who goes out of his way. I can’t help it. I spent my late teens and first half of my 20’s working in QA at various customer support centers. I spent the last half of my 20’s working on software development, emphasized on QA, testing, and so on.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a call center, or a retail store or technology. The quality output by any business’s effort boils down to people and process.

So, when things go wrong using the drive through I will actually call the store and let them know about the screw up. The time I got a black coffee instead of a black tea, I called. The time I got a soup with no spoon to eat the soup, I called. The problem with this is they don’t get the point of why I’m calling. They interpret it as, “OK what is it you want for free next time you come in?” As if that solves the cause of the problem.  I quite literally replied saying “I don’t want anything, all I do want is better trained employees.”

Recognize that I’m not doing it to get free shit, realize that I’m going out of my way to give you an opportunity to improve your customer experience. Of course I don’t complain for free shit, I complain because I don’t want to have to worry if I’m actually getting what I paid for in the first place.

5 Reasons why Tim Hortons sucks and other sympathetic links…

5 Reasons why Tim Hortons sucks
Tim Hortons – Bad Customer Service Experiment
Awesome Vine Rant
Tim Horton Lies
Tim Hortons Sucks
Tim Hortons, fast food and the end of the world as we know it
A like minded facebook post
I Hate Tim Hortons
5 Things I Hate About Tim Hortons
No More Tim Hortons
Trip Advisor Review 1 and 2
Tim Hortons – Service, A thing of the past
Globe and Mail – Falling out of love with Tim Hortons
Crummy Coffee Lid Rant
Why I Hate Tim Hortons
Huffington Post – Boycott Tim Hortons
Ranting Canadian – Fuck Tim Hortons
Dear Tim Hortons, Please Suck Less Tim Hortons Rants
Google – Tim Hortons Poor Service
Poor Service at Tim Hortons
Canadian Business – Double-Double Jeopardy

And one terrible Tim Hortons inspired song on youtube


Before I get a lawyer knocking on my door for slander or libel, please note:

-I am an individual, not a company or a business

-I am not profiting from the content of this website. Any ads on this site would be because wordpress puts ads on their free accounts. I’m not monetizing this.

-All posts are opinions based on personal experience as a paying, unsatisfied customer and are true to me as I perceive each situation

-I’m all for improving business, all I really want is managers to QA their staff better and not suck. When a company’s employee fails, the company still gets the customer’s money and the employee still is employed and paid. Thus, in the end the only entity the suffers from poor service and QA is the customer. When a company fails, I pay, not them.

-My use of the word fuck isn’t to be taken as harshly as more sensitive people might wish to. I’m very liberal, fuck could easily be screw or forget or “down with” or “to heck with”. It’s a word like any other.

-If Tim Hortons would like to contact me, before doing anything crazy like trying to find out who I am and then getting their lawyers engaged, feel free to email me at: